I go on chorten kora almost everynight. spend like 30 minutes - an hour or so. its been my routine. my place of serenity ish. cringe as i write this but its true.

but one thing i do feel as i circumabulate the chorten, and this only happens from time to time, is that feeling of being a human. Of the sense of a squirrel just doing squirrel things because he/she/they is a squirrel. well atleast from the third perspective. I dont know if you get what i mean. but when youre circumabulating and youre moving at almost the same pace as the others and everyone else is moving at almost exactly the same pace.

you feel this sense of unity. this sense of a human just being a human. this sense that all the problems, all the happiness and everthing that is life in a human is just a human. it is really hard to convey this sense of feeling. the sense that a squirrel doesnt fault itself for being a squirrel. and you get this sense of not faulting yourself for just doing human things.

i’ve said this before but its funny that i feel this way through religion. i really dont know where i stand with it now. on one hand im almost atheistic in the sense of not turning towards higher beings when im in a bind. actually as i write this i think thats changing when im anxious i’ve now been turning to higher beings to give me strength wisdom and intelligence to get through it.

but still im not sure where i stand but i do know this sense of sacredness, this energy of calmness and serenity now happens more and more often in these places of worship.

oh man life really do be a sine wave.